I wonder if you still blame me

My heart hurts 

a nagging worry in my mind 

this is not a blog for those that have triggers please bear that in mind 

AGHHHHH make my head stop

If there was ever a time my life felt normal I would love to remember when .. 

My earliest memories are not the most pleasant,

my late teens were an alcohol fueled chaos 

my  early 20's saw the birth of my children but also a very unhappy marriage 

which had many lows and not very many highs.

When I met my current husband the years of damage caused by others 

has made everyday life lets just say a little tricky.

Now in my last few months of my 30's I can't help but wonder was I always destined to feel like this. 

I often joke that I would hate to be normal but in actual fact I would love to have some resemblance of 

what most would call a normal life.

it can be a lonely world at times......... looking at the world through my eyes

looking at the world through my eyes 

a world that seems to divide