Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
now that I got my last blog off my chest
Here is the blog that I have been working on since last week,
Its funny because this one has taken me over a week to perfect but the one before this I typed up in an hour
go figure !
Any hoots
here is what I have been preparing for you lovely people
Anyone with MS or any condition that causes chronic fatigue or pain may dread the school holidays just like I used to.
These days I do my best to balance health, finances and keeping the kids entertained.
Getting myself worked up about how I would cope would in the end make matters worse
so I came up with a plan.
So I thought I would share my experiences with you
maybe it will help you or someone you know feel better and help them find their own balance.
Anyone with a chronic condition will know that pushing to hard will end in disaster
but what if it was to be the parent you used to be ?
to not let your children down?
What if I told you that you are the the same parent you were
you can do more than you think
and ..........................
if you do it right
you will not burn out on day 1
its taken me 3 years but by golly I have found my own solution
Until about 3 or 4 years ago I have always worked hard and point blank refused to listen
to my body as it began to show signs of what was to come.
I had battled through cancer, dodgy joints multiple surgeries, mental health issues since a young age
but earning money and giving my girls the best life that I could possibly give them was my driving force.
Friends and family warn you to slow down before you break down and not make a rod for your own back with your children ...
(such a strange saying that one don't you think?)
Then it happened ........... March 2011
my legs stopped working properly
to begin with I had limited mobility with the aid of sticks
but nothing hit me harder than the tiredness
I felt like for every step I look I needed a 20 minute nap.
All this from someone who has always been and still is an insomniac.
(but the reason for that is a different story)
That 1st school holiday was a disaster !
I was still trying to do my old job
but I was exhausted and nothing was going right for me.
Every job I did exhausted me but I needed to work to earn the money to take the kids out.
Now please don't get me wrong hubby has always worked
he has always made sure we had a roof over our heads food in our tummy
we were not wanting for anything we were not rich but we were comfortable and the money I earn't was not needed per-se but paid for the extras - taking the kids out etc
Anyone with a child will tell you that there is no such thing as a FREE day out during the holidays
yes you can
get Free entry
you can take a packed lunch
but
after the free entry
you have stands selling every thing from
sweets to novelty clothing and more
then there are the rides
how long can a parent resist and say no to their little angels
by the time you have been there an hour you have spent £10
as everything costs double what it would normally be.
Having 4 daughters I learnt long ago a day out with them
although fun and totally worth every penny
was EXPENSIVE !
The problem was I hadn't learnt to listen to my body
so I worked hard then crashed hard, the girls didn't really understand
and got upset when I was too exhausted to drive them to their favorite places for the day
which in turn upset me causing my depression to spiral
I was caught in ever decreasing circles of trying and failing.
When the next holidays came round I felt obligated to make it up to them
so I worked and saved before the holidays so that I could take them out without the worry of having to work at the same time.
This also turned out to be a huge mistake
1st day out was fab spent an entire day at the beach with the girls
The next day the day I had planned to take them to the Zoo
When I finally awoke I couldn't move,
the pain the tiredness was just too much
the girls had been promised a better holiday this time
but there it was again disappointment.
I tried over every holiday to find a balance
it was a nightmare
then one day it hit me
Explain to the girls that things were different
explain what was happening to my body
ask them what they enjoyed doing
It was then and only then
that I was amazed at what they already knew and what they understood of what was happening to me
Finally we had a plan
one that we all knew would work
and this was it
day 1 of holidays -- plan our week but with allowances for hiccups
make a big chart with all the fun things to do over the holidays
what surprised me was what they chose to do
a trip out to maybe the Zoo or the seaside
a duvet and DVD day
arts and crafts day
a trip to nanny and pops house
Karaoke and games on the xbox day
McDonalds takeaway
it was then I realised that I didn't have to kill myself to give my girls what they wanted
they didn't need to go out everyday
What they really wanted was to spend time with me
be that resting under the duvet watching DVD's
or out and about taking it easy enjoying the day!
Now days they argue over who is going to push me in the wheelchair while we are out each of them taking the time to show me who they are as people
surviving the school holidays
SAVED MY FAMILY IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE
I love my 4 girls and hubby more than words can say they save me daily
FAMILY is our legacy
be true to yours always
Kayla x
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