Breaking the mould .....

There are times in life when doing something you have tried to avoid for over 

20+ years is the only way to move forward in life.

The moment I realised that if I wanted things to change 

to get better ........

I dreaded the fact that I had to break the continual circle my life has been taking.......

I am one of those people who can talk for Britain and not have given away anything about myself .

Many people think they know me but they only know the "me " I want them to see.

I can often come across as blunt or rude 

In fact my friends all know if they ask me a question I will give a true and honest answer,

which has often  got me in trouble, I have lost friends because of this honesty.

In short if I think you are being a prick I will tell you so!

want me to complement you by asking me if I like your floral dress that makes you look 2 dress sizes bigger than you are and more like my nans old sofa is not really going to get  you that complement.

I have refused to change for so long 

I don't want to face up to the reality of the pain I have been through 

I hate going to sleep because my mind puts me back to my childhood 

I fear whats behind the doors of my mind 

I am petrified that remembering will break me

and that I will not recover 

Surely by breaking the mould they will take away the only defense I have 

unleashing the demons I have fought to lock behind the doors of my mind for 

nearly 40 years.

I tried to face my demons just after my 1st daughter was born 

it was a disaster !!

my life fell apart 

and all they did was threaten to take my baby away !

So why try again ??

because I am at a point I have no other choice 

my dreams are too vivid 

my mind cannot cope 

my family is suffering 

I hope and I hope 

that I am doing the right thing 

only time will tell