Wednesday, 15 January 2014

one step forward five steps back but I cant step I only roll but that just don't sound the same

Its been one of those weeks and its only Wednesday !!
I look at those around me and wonder why
why are they here?
why are they a part of my life ? 
why do they want me to be a part of theirs ??
why is life like this ?
why talk to me like it ? 
why treat me different?
why can't things be the way they were? 
why ?
why ? 
why ?

When did what I thought and felt lose it value?
when did what I know lose its validity ? 
when did this change happen? 
when?
when?
when?

Why am I forever turning in these circles? 
when did I lose my voice 
How could I let it get like this? 

I took one step forward and have been kicked 5 steps back ! 
I have no fight left
The will to push forward has gone
Its not like I've not been here before ... what is so different ? why should I bother? 
use me ! put me down ! kick me ! hate me ! say what you will !
I have heard worse ! made to feel like this before ! 
this feeling is more of a comfort than something to fear or dislike !
 it is familiar , normal, an age old blanket I wear with no fear
So 1 step forward 5 steps back 
Fuck it Ill stay here
I cant be fucking arsed any more !!!!! 

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